Eye Tentacle Face Man in Puddle Water Drawing preview


Who out there actually knows what a reasonable commission cost would be? My art may not be fancy-as-fuck, but it’s still worth more than a plugged nickel. I have no idea why I said that.

Anyroad, it’s about time I start selling some, and working in larger formats. I figure somebody out there would “enjoy” having some of my “art.” Especially my larger art, although my small stuff I’d sell for a few bucks.

Any input–here, on FB, or via email–would be greatly appreciated.

Here, have some strange art, the eyestrich and…fuck if I know.

Eye Ostrich









Eye Tentacle Face Man in Puddle Water Drawing


BONUS: What happened when I put the eyestrich through Paint.net’s auto-correction:

Eye Ostrich Auto Adjustment

Peacok Illustration preview

I was talking to Nadja about how hard it is to get back into a groove of doing art, and she told me to draw a peacock.

I asked if it should be me trying to draw from photo reference or my usual “what does a peacock look like in my head” method?

We decided that I should do the latter and then the former.

After I did the latter, we decided that perhaps the former was a bad idea.

Peacok Illustration

I’d explain why he has a mouth, but…non, je ne regrette rien.




Many years ago I wrote this story.
My brother Matthew reminded me that I wrote it and a few others.

I need to write more.

I’m not certain what to do with it. You see, in one of the boxes that my grandfather left behind was a strange gun, rounded and very rusty. It weighs several pounds and has knobs and dials along the side. If you put your ear against it, you can hear it quietly humming, and on its side is a dark and cracking piece of masking tape, upon which is written “Disintegrator Gun: still dangerous.”

My grandfather worked in a granary since the day he turned twelve and didn’t learn to read until his was forty-five. According to my mother, he’d never been able to change a lightbulb without blowing a fuse. He couldn’t have invented this, it’s too complex to be a toy, and it seems unlikely that a man who spent most of his life hip-deep in feed corn would have ever been in a situation to stumble upon something like this.

So where did it come from? I don’t know, but it’s sitting on my desk now. Every time I bring it close to my laptop, the LCD starts flowing and the fans start spinning faster. My cat’s hair stands on end when she gets too close. I set it next to a fountain pen which promptly started leaking ink out of its tip. If I hold it near my head, my fillings ache.

If I hold it in my hand, I feel like the most powerful man in the world.

It’s like a little boy’s dream come true, but I can’t bring myself to so much as touch the trigger. I thought of testing it in on a rock in the back yard, but what if it’s got a really wide beam, or punches a hole in the ground the size of an SUV? What if it explodes in my hand? What if it does nothing?

So for now it sits on my desk, all but begging me to pick it up.

“Be a superhero,” it whispers.

“Be a villain,” it suggests.

“Be whatever you want, so long as you use me to do it.”

I know that I’ll break down soon. I’ll use it on a tree or a wall, a car or a criminal, on a bank or on myself. But I’ll use it.

And I’ll never stop.


Curtain and Carrot 2

Less than a month since last time! I’m doing better with my art.

I’m excited about a slow-build of new energy, but am still stuck on the format for two of my comics–one Fuckbrain Comix, one about something else–but it’s time for me to say screw it and just start.

In the mean time, please look at the sort of things I draw when I’m trying to “brainstorm” or “just draw shit.”

Anyways, here’s one, and four more behind the jump.



Continue reading

Between protesting Governor Rauner’s “right to work” bullshit–he’s at the I-Hotel today, so a hoard of people are going over to shout at him–and protesting Tasers, and going to City Council meetings–congrats, Aaron!–and volunteering at the Champaign County Humane Society, and helping more at home as Nadja makes Carnivale Debauche costumes and…look, we been busy.

I have no larger project right now, so have some more dick jokes.

Cock RobinShuttlecock


Bus-Holes Douchebagging thumbnail


Craigslist has come through for us before, and it has come through for us again.

I had this AIWA turntable to get rid of, since I need one with a USB jack:

Nadja and I are big fans of the barter system, and a gentleman offered two pieces of art:

They are, from left to right “Clever Worms Hiding in the Grass” and “Use Wisely But With Coconut.”

We thought that wasn’t a balanced deal, so Nadja threw in some of her pear ginger jam, which is fucking obscenely delicious.The fellow’s name is Shane Rodems; I love his stuff, and recommend his works very highly. They’re even cheap! Go buy something!

Nadja and I ride the bus a lot, even now that we have a car. After all, the CUMTD got us to the show on time, and their app garage means that you can pick from many programs to keep track of your bus via live GPS.

Now that The Wizard’s Lesson is completely finished, it’s time to move on to some one-shots before trying another large project.

We see plenty of different jackasses while riding, so I figure I’ll do a few
comics about the matters. Please to enjoy:

Bus-Holes Douchebagging
There will be more appearances from bus-holes, I promise. Twenty years of riding really builds up your knowledge of jackasses.

That’s it for now.Don’t forget that this comic leaves copyright on January 22, 2015.


The Wizards Lesson The End thumb

Here it is. Here’s The Wizard’s Lesson in its entirety.

I got it done in less than a year, but I wish I’d gotten it done faster. As time goes by my productivity increases, so my next projects should go faster.

You’ll see them soon enough. This post is about this comic right here.

As always, click to EMBIGGEN:

Sui Dynasty hats were super-weird
Wizards Lesson Page 2


Do please enjoy the rest of The Wizard’s Lesson